Radiating Now The Alchemy of Pain Vol 1; 4
I was globally recognized anti human trafficking advocate facing down traffickers and crying when men scared her in intimate relationships. Truth.
The Alchemy of Pain: Turning Wounds Into Wisdom and Power
There are some wounds we spend years denying, numbing, or trying to outrun. If you are reading this, I want you to know: pain is not the end of your story. In many ways, it is the beginning of something precious. Pain could even be the door toward your greatest joy: your purpose.
“Your wound is not your fault, but your healing is your responsibility.” — Jillian Tureki
Back in June 2022, I was with an incredible group of survivors of what is known as image-based sexual abuse and all of these women and men were sharing how their sexual abuse was online for the world to see. They could not hide or run. They had to fight for their lives. And, I had this total moment in the room - I was assaulted at 14 and I kept my dark secret. I was scared of the police, the way others would see me. Most of all, of losing my dignity and rights.
I never thought my silence a right but I chose when and how I shared. That day, at the White House, I did. And, in July 2024, I shared more in my book, Believe Me.
So, my own journey began in the shadows. Before I ever found the words “survivor” or “advocate,” I was a teen girl confronting shame and secrets, feeling sometimes too visible, sometimes invisible. Trauma taught me never sit with my back to door, read a mood before it crested, and shape-shift for safety. For years, I thought the best I could do was pass as “okay.” I was globally recognized anti human trafficking advocate facing down traffickers and crying when men scared her in intimate relationships. Truth.
But that began to change when I entered the world of advocacy—not just for myself, but for women and girls whose stories mirrored and magnified my own: survivors of trafficking, sexual abuse, and what we now name as image abuse. Starting and leading The June Coalition opened my eyes and soul to the collective ache and courage of survivors around the world. I heard stories that broke me open. Every time I heard a client ask, “Will I ever get my life back?” I realized that surviving is only the first seed. We need permission, support, and sometimes just a tiny sliver of hope to begin alchemizing pain into power.
The irony is, even after years of helping others, turning toward my own wound—the fallout, the betrayals, the long echo of shame—took more courage than all my advocacy combined.
“One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” — Carl Jung
Each time I shared my story or risked being seen, I touched that darkness, and something in me began to shift. We all imagine, at some point, that healing will be a straight line upward. But when I ask myself honestly—what if we actually get what we want?—I see that fulfillment brings its own complexity. I have known the high of holding a survivor’s hand as she testifies, building new programs from scratch, and seeing laws change because of stories we told. But I have also felt the returning ache of being triggered by an image or a memory, the battles lost or delayed, the exhaustion of carrying so many dreams and wounds at once.
“If you want to find your purpose, look first at your pain—it is where the soul is asking for a voice.”
Some days, purpose is exhilarating. Other days, it is as weighty as the pain that birthed it. Sometimes I wake up grateful for how far I’ve come—the daughter I get to raise, the voices I now amplify, the small and big wins of my clients. Other times, I confront old anxiety or loneliness, especially when “winning” does not undo the harm I or others have survived.
Here’s what I am learning, and what I want every survivor or seeker who comes to Radiate Purpose to know:
1. Your Wounds Hold Wisdom—Not Condemnation.
The things you have survived are not just scars to hide; they are wells of empathy, intuition, and creative power. The very pain you want to erase might contain the message that transforms your life and heals others. You are not the sum of what happened to you—you are what you create from it.
2. Purpose Is Not a Destination—It’s A Practice.
There are days I am lit up with vision, purpose, and the joy of seeing survivors reclaim themselves. There are other days when grief, anger, or uncertainty wash back over me. My work with the June Coalition, my coaching, and my own life have taught me: both are okay. We are allowed to have complicated relationships with our past, and we are allowed to create meaning even before we feel “over it.”
3. You Are Allowed to Want More—and To Receive It.
Many of us are afraid to claim what we really want—to be safe, seen, or wildly joyful—because we wonder if we are asking for too much, or if the good will last.
“You have survived 100% of your hardest days. What you do next is yours alone to shape.”
For me, the greatest moments of growth have come from stepping into the unknown, trusting my calling, and remembering that my wholeness is not a project but a promise.
If you are walking your own alchemy of pain—if you are in the thick of healing, or longing to turn the hard chapters into something holy—please know: you are not behind. You are exactly where you need to be. Your journey is as unique as your fingerprint. And as you turn your wounds to wisdom, your entire life becomes an offering, a lighthouse for others.
May every step you take toward your own healing ripple out—turning darkness into light, and pain into a new kind of peace.
If you feel called to explore your own alchemy, healing, or purpose in a supportive and soulful way, I invite you to connect with me. Whether you are curious about coaching, looking for a healing community, or simply needing a place to start, I offer free initial consultations through Radiate Purpose.
Let’s discover together what’s possible for you.
You can request a free call or learn more here.
Your story matters. Your healing is sacred. You don’t have to walk this alone.
Andrea
