Transformation your relationship with love

How we connect, find love within ourselves and with intimate relationships has evolved. Now people ask you what dating site you met your partner on, polyamory is rapidly growing as a relationship choice and the majority of adults dating now grew up with expanding family systems. We are now speaking about chosen families in addition to our biological families. It can be liberating and also overwhelming. Increasing women are choosing not to prioritize marriage or even dating. 

Yet, we are humans and we are designed for human connections in so many different ways - romantic, friendships and family.  My true deep inner work to uncover how I show up in intimate relationships began in 2015 as a single mom and continued through heartbreaks, love and self discovery. How we view ourselves in love is how we will be loved. These books have been my love companions as a rewrite of my heart for deep soulful and spiritual love.

Becoming the One by the founder of Rising Woman, Sheana Aiyana

“Healing the abandonment wound does not mean that you'll forget about the past or stop desiring love, closeness, or reassurance. It means you will no longer be ruled by your pain.”

Self-judgment and shame can keep us stuck in our patterns. The key to moving forward is through compassionate self-awareness.

We will always have work to do in a relationship no matter whom we choose, so the question is not "Are they everything I want?" but "Is this the person I'm excited to grow and learn with?

Liberated Love by Mark Groves and Kyle McBeath

Love doesn’t hurt us. People-pleasing hurts us. Pretending everything is okay hurts us. Silencing ourselves hurts us. Having no boundaries hurts us. Not having our own back hurts us. Self-abandonment hurts us. Another person’s unhealed shit hurts us. Love liberates, relational challenges shine a light on where we are not yet liberated.

It Begins With You by Jillian Turecki

If you’re a giver, find another giver to love. Because if you’re a giver, likely you’ve been with a lot of takers, which hurts. So find someone who values generosity as much as you do. Who loves to give because it’s their nature, not their pathology. Just like it’s your nature too. Find another giver because you need to be given to, too.

Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel

“What makes us feel emotionally secure is not always what turns us on sexually. Instead of looking to the other to meet your needs, if you want to reignite your love life, you must take on the responsibility of your own desire.”